Note: We have interviewed Felicia before, you can read it here.
Interview with Felicia/LunarScorpio
A interview with Felicia, online known by the name of LunarScorpio. A 24 year old female from the USA. She has many interests, some of those are blogging, watching movies, foruming, helping people out with family problems and relations as a counselor.
She also owns the blog named Familial Ramblings and works on FP as a community team member.
(1) Max Pen: Could you tell us a bit more about yourself so the readers know who you are?
Felicia: Hi Max, thanks for taking the time to interview me. I am a twenty-four year old female residing in the state of Pennsylvania. I’ve been married for a little over two years now to my husband whom I actually met in an online chatroom. We’ve been together for over six years and I honestly couldn’t be happier. I have my bachelor’s degree in Clinical/Counseling psychology and I am currently in graduate school, studying Couples, Marriage and Family therapy, which I am loving. In my free time I enjoy spending time with my family and friends, chatting online, reading, writing, and watching movies. I also own a blog called Familial Ramblings, which looks at the many aspects of family and relationships.
(2) Max Pen: What exactly triggered your interest into knowing how the human mind works, human emotions, and all that physical stuff?
Felicia: I’ve always been interested in the human mind, what people are thinking and feeling especially. When I was younger, I always wished that I could read people’s minds like in the movies and on television. I really became interested in psychology around the age of eleven through my cousin who, at the time, was studying psychology in college. I had never known that there was a career path that allowed you to talk to people about what’s going on in their minds and with their emotions. I’ve always had a strong desire to help others and from that moment on, I knew it was the career I wanted.
(3) Max Pen: How long did it took you from that trigger point to get really into it as a thing to study for? What did you try to read/do in the meantime about that interest?
Felicia: Well, like I said, I was eleven when I first really learned about the career of psychology, so I had quite a few years before I actually started studying it. In the meantime, I would read online articles and watch programs on psychology and human behavior. I was around the age of sixteen or seventeen, in my junior and senior year of high school, when I really got the chance to start taking classes on the subject and I couldn’t get enough of it. I wanted to learn what made people tick and how I could go about helping them.
(4) Max Pen: What are in your opinion the 5 most common cases by which a relation breaks up between a couple and a son or daughter of a father/mother?
Felicia: This is a tough question because there are so many reasons one would break up with their significant other or that a relationship would be torn between a brother and sister, mother and father, etc. I really can’t say what the five most common reasons are because there really aren’t, in my opinion, a set of five most common cases in which relationships break a part. I could name maybe two that would more than likely fall in the shuffle, but other than that, it generally really varies.
One reason people’s relationships fail, from what I’ve encountered, is that they simple grow distant from one another. They don’t have anything in common with one another or their priorities in life have changed over time for example. The other reason may be because of trust issues within the relationship. One person does something to the other or to the family—such as cheating on a spouse—which breaks trust in the relationship. Other than those two scenarios, like I said, it’s really difficult to pick out common cases.
(5) Max Pen: Do you most of the time apply personal experience to advice or what you where thought to say based on what you heard of the person asking for advice?
Felicia: A lot of my advice comes from personal experience, but anyone I give advice to I make sure to also let know that just because it worked for me or worked for someone else, doesn’t mean it’ll necessarily work for them. I also use a lot of my schooling when it comes to giving advice to others or even just helping them get through whatever they may be going through. You hear a lot of different people’s experiences and stories in my classes, which helps a lot because you never know what you’re going to face yourself and if you know someone who’s had a similar experience, you can kind of go from there. So a lot of it is based on my experiences and experiences of others.
(6) Max Pen: On what type of situations does it depend that you either apply advice based on personal exp or what you should say based on what you know that you studied?
Felicia: I have to say that I don’t give as much advice in my career as people think I do. It’s more so listening, giving feedback and helping the client sort through what they’re going through. I give advice here and there, but it’s not like I tell them, “Go do this” or “You have to do that.” It’s more like, “How can we get through this together? How would you like me to help you?” In most situations, I don’t give advice or very little advice and when I do give advice, I will often base it on a combination of my personal experiences and what I’ve studied and learned in class. I don’t limit myself to just what I’ve experienced in my life because I haven’t experienced everything there is to experience nor do I just go by what I’ve been taught, both complement each other so I use both, which seems to work out well.
(7) Max Pen: Do you think real cursing is a big problem in today’s youths? Is cursing acceptable at certain locations or situations? (your opinion)
Felicia: In my opinion, I don’t think that cursing is as much of a problem as some seem to think. I think that our society makes cursing “bad” because if you think of it, curse words are just that: words. Who decides whether they’re “good” or “bad” in the end, they’re still just words. Would I let my kids go around dropping the f-bomb left and right? Probably not, but I don’t think that there should be such a weight placed on them like there is.
There are certainly different societies, locations and situations where cursing is acceptable in my opinion. For example, in one of my blog posts I go over the positives of swearing in which I look at a study that put people in a situation in which swearing actually helped them to reduce pain that they were experiencing by putting their hands into ice water. Swearing certainly has positives to it and really it is just another way for us to express ourselves in different situations.
(8) Max Pen: What do you think we can do to let youths curse less? Does it annoy you when you heard at public areas cursing?
Felicia: I’ve gotten some good suggestions on my blog as to how to get people to swear less. One being putting a swear jar in your home if you don’t want people to swear (suggestion from Fiona). Also, just not swearing around your children or keeping it to a minimum should also reduce the amount of cursing. Parents may also want to consider teaching their children the meaning behind swear words and why they shouldn’t use them in certain situations or at least when it would be inappropriate to use them so they know. I think parents have to understand that no matter what they do their children will hear curse words and will more than likely use them at some point, so it’s better to teach them about it, when and when not to use them.
I sometimes cringe at people swearing in public areas because— I personally —was raised not to do it. It’s not so much that I have a problem with it; it’s just the way I was brought up. Over the years, I’ve certainly become more accustomed to people swearing especially because my husband swears like a sailor from time to time. It doesn’t annoy me though because, like I said, it’s a way people express themselves. If they can’t think of any other way to express themselves other than cursing, so be it, at least they aren’t psychically harming someone and I hope that they aren’t verbally harming someone.
(9) Max Pen: Have you so far had people that didn’t get their situation changed for the better even when you had given them advice? What does that do to you or how do you learn from it?
Felicia: Actually, yes, haha. There have been people who I’ve given advice to where they’ve tried it out and it just did not work for them. When it first happened, I was truly devastated, but over the years I’ve learned that I can’t help everyone and it’s not always about giving advice, but also helping the person to learn more about themselves and how to cope with whatever it is they may be going through. I’ve gotten a lot better with people telling me that something didn’t work and have learned if one thing doesn’t work not to give up. Keep trying and at the least the person will get some new techniques to work with in their given situation.
(10) Max Pen: What type of situations of people do you usually give advice on? How close does your job get you personally involved with the client aka person asking for advice-help?
Felicia: My specialties, or rather what I’m going to school to be my specialty, is family and relationship therapy. Basically listening and talking to people about their family situations and the relationships that they have with others. Also, like I said previously, I don’t give as much “advice” as people often think a counselor/psychologist would. It’s more of aiding a client to sort things out themselves instead of me telling them what to do. As far as how close I get with clients, honestly it’s strictly professional and I really try not to let my feelings and my views involved, but it’s really difficult sometimes to be objective. It’s a hard job though and sometimes you become more involved than you realize which is when you have to take a step back and really look at what’s happening.
You talk to your supervisor or a fellow counselor about what’s going on, with the client’s permission of course. As a counselor, you have to realize you’re not always going to be compatible with a client and you’re not always going to be able to help them because you’re too emotionally involved. So, it’s better to take a step back, evaluate the situation and go from there.
(11) Max Pen: Do you want to do the job your doing now for the rest of your life? If you couldn’t do your current job what other type of job wouldn’t you mind doing?
Felicia: I really hope to be a counselor for all of my life, but it’s a high-stress job and a lot of people get burnt out doing it. I hope to stick with it though because I really love it and I get so much out of doing it. If I couldn’t do this job anymore, I’m not really sure what I’d do. I have “back-up” jobs in my mind like becoming a chef because I love to cook or even a professor to teach people about being a counselor. Who knows, maybe I’d just end up being a stay-at-home mom. I’m honestly not sure what I’d do if I wasn’t in this field.
(12) Max Pen: How do you manage to let the people trust you with their problem? What approaches to people have worked/not worked so far for establishing that trust?
Felicia: Trust is not an easy thing to acquire in everyday life, let alone in a counseling situation in which people are sharing their innermost thoughts and feelings on a situation. I don’t have any approaches that I specifically use to establish and build trust with people in an everyday setting nor in a counseling setting. The closest thing to a technique that I do is just to be myself. I don’t try to be their best friend; I don’t throw all my credentials at them in hopes that they trust me because I’m educated. I go into every situation just being me and no one else.
I suppose it’s helpful that people have always seen me as “likeable” or so I’ve been told. People have told me that I make them feel comfortable just because I will actually sit there and listen to what they have to say. If they want to vent, I’m going to listen, if they want to cry, I’m their shoulder to cry on. I’m there for people, I’m reliable, I listen, and I respect them, which in some cases is just what people are looking for. I try to be friendly, open, honest, and helpful whenever possible. So if you want to call all that a technique, then that’s my technique: being myself.
(13) Max Pen: Who or what has been of big support to have allowed you to do your job as you do now? (Like with great confidence thanks to a fellow person in the same job business.etc..)
Felicia: My husband and my mother have been two huge supporters in me getting into this field. They’ve both been with me through thick and thin, when I doubted my abilities and when I just didn’t think I could make it. They’ve been there to push me along to make sure I achieve my goals. My advisor in graduate school and even my other professors have also been huge parts in me getting as far as I have because they’ve taught me so much and they have so much confidence that I can do this job.
I also have friends who have supported me one hundred and ten percent with pursing my goal.
They’re there when I’m feeling down on myself or just when I need someone to listen and I could never thank them enough. I especially have to thank Cody, Snobo, Fiona, Jem, and Rei because despite the fact that we’ve never met in person, these are the people I know that I can always count on to put me in my place, reassure me that things will be okay and that I will excel in my career and in life. I hope to continue to gain support not only from the people that I know, but also from the people that I don’t know as of yet.
(14) Max Pen: What where your original goals towards the project Familial Ramblings? Did those goals remain the same or get changed over time?
Felicia: My original goal of Familial Ramblings was basically to have a place to get all of my thoughts and ideas out there along with helping others who may be in a similar situation that I’ve found myself in or to even just connect with others who may think that they’re alone. I have so many viewpoints on different subjects pertaining to family and relationships; I really just needed a place to write them down and if that helps people in some way, that makes the experience even better because I was actually able to connect with others and help them. I don’t think that that goal has changed a lot because I’m still writing about my thoughts and my ideas; it’s just people read them now and they give me their opinions on them, which I love because I get to learn new viewpoints and some of these viewpoints have actually changed my own.
(15) Max Pen: Could you tell us what motivated you to start it and how you came up with the idea behind the project?
Felicia: I came up with this idea because of an assignment I had in one of my courses a couple of semesters ago. We were to write up an essay on the plans we had for the future of our careers and one of the suggestions was to talk about creating a website or blog. It really got me to thinking. I had never owned, ran or even posted on a blog before, but it was something that I thought I could really do. So, I took the plunge and started Familial Ramblings, which ended up working out quite well for me because I feel as if I’ve learned a lot in the process of creating and writing for it.
(16) Max Pen: What are some of the things you are proud of and that you think should be worked on if any? (Like promoting it more, etc..)
Felicia: I’m honestly really proud that I’ve been working on this blog by myself. I’ve noticed that a lot of blogs use guest posters and I’ve considered it, but then I think to myself of how big of an accomplishment it would be if I could make it to one hundred or more posts all on my own with no one else’s help. That to me is one heck of an achievement and I plan to get there one day. I’m only forty or so posts away from reaching the one hundred mark and I know that I will be so proud to be able to say, “I was able to do that all by myself.” I’m sure that there are things that I need to work on to improve my blog, probably promoting in particular, but for the time being I’m happy with its progress and I’m really proud that I’ve been able to stick with it and get as far as I have so far.
(17) Max Pen: Finally if you could alter the past online or offline, which path would you choose and what scenario would you change and why?
Felicia: I honestly don’t think that I would change any of my past because I think everything happens for a reason and I’ve learned a lot from the things that I’ve experienced and gone through. If something in my past changed, I may not be where I am today. I enjoy my life and would never trade it for any other despite how difficult it may become. I’m a strong individual and I can take whatever’s thrown at me because of my past, so I wouldn’t want to change any of it.
Thank you for your time doing this Felicia. I enjoyed your detailed replies and I hope the others will to. -Max Pen